Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto has announced that Mexico is going to build a tunnel under the Mexico/US border. He said that the Americans were going to pay for the tunnel, which will cost $324bn. He told Grumpy Fuckers: “Trump can boast all he likes about his fucking wall. I said to the missis last […]
Tag Archives: featured
19
Jan
Jan
For those still reeling from Monday – fear not – Fuck Off Friday is here! Fuck Off Friday is a day where those who are allowed to vocalise their most innermost thoughts to those around them. Many people use the day as an opportunity to tell those who get on their tits to fuck off […]
The reason why women take so long doing anything has been revealed in the findings of a new study. The study showed that women take so long doing anything because they’re so fucking slow. Professor CleverClogs of the University of Nowhere in Particular told GrumpyFuckers: “Women take longer because they like to do things properly. […]
10
Jan
Jan
Grumpy fuckers from all over the world are preparing for the first-ever worldwide International Grumpy Fuckers Day. Monday 30th January will see grumpy fuckers from all over the world moaning about how shit their lives are like they do on any other day. Organiser Clive GrimGrits, who runs Grumpy Fuckers’ Coffee Shop, told Grumpy Fuckers: […]
A man has woken up exactly one minute before his alarm was due to go off. Shelf-stacker Derek Slowcoach had set his alarm for 7am but woke up at 6.59 exactly. Derek told GrumpyFuckers: “I set my alarm for 7am because I have to get up for my shitty job. I tried to get to […]
A woman has mistaken a bag of organic vegetables for a bag of jam donuts at a local supermarket. Jenny ‘Wobbly’ Webbly picked up the bag of donuts in error at her local Kwik Save store. She had been intending to pick up a bag of mixed organic vegetables. Jenny told GrumpyFuckers: “I really don’t […]
A man who put a small block of wood in his garage in 1982 ‘because it might come in handy in the future’ has used it to prop up a set of drawers, 33 years later. Gary Slowcoach, 52, put the small block of wood in his garage after finding it outside his house. Despite […]
A Cardiff shop has been forced to apologise after one of its banners contained an offensive typo. Bargain store Massive Discounts contracted a sign-maker to create a new banner for the shop front. Sadly, the banner contained the word ‘discocunt’ instead of the word ‘discount’. Shop manager Jim Bellend told Grumpy Fuckers: “I’ve always hammered […]
01
Sep
Sep
A Chepstow supermarket has opened a new lane for women who can’t seem to locate their purse. The town’s Kwik Save store responded to customer feedback that some women shoppers were taking too long to find their purse. Manager Brendan TidyShoes told WalesOnCraic: “We had a lot of complaints about our female shoppers who would […]