Posted on 6 Comments

REVEALED: Why do women take so fucking long doing anything?

The reason why women take so long doing anything has been revealed in the findings of a new study.

The study showed that women take so long doing anything because they’re so fucking slow.

Professor CleverClogs of the University of Nowhere in Particular told GrumpyFuckers:




“Women take longer because they like to do things properly. Their motto is ‘do it once, do it properly’. Whereas a fella might attempt to do the same thing three times before getting it right, a female will always take her time. That’s why they are slow and that’s why they take a fucking age to do anything.”

One male participant of the survey said:

“This morning at 9.15am, I asked my wife whether she’d like to nip to the shop with me. The shop’s only around the corner and I thought it’d be a good chance for us to catch up about our plans for the day. It was a silly mistake for me to make. I was still waiting at 4pm and the shop had shut. I could have spent a whole day in work and got paid for it by the time she took to get ready.”

His wife, who also didn’t want to be named said:

“I don’t give a flying fuck about how long I take to get ready. If it takes me three hours to look like perfection, then so be it. I’d rather that than look like a scruffy bag of shit like my husband does.”

6 thoughts on “REVEALED: Why do women take so fucking long doing anything?

  1. It’s true, women take FOREVER to do ANYTHING. Going to the bathroom. Crossing the street. My God, have you ever seen a man cross the street with cars waiting on him? He shows some energy, moves with alacrity because he knows several people are waiting on him. Sometimes he jogs across the street? Ever seen a woman jog across a street? Me neither. Instead they act like every movement is a major effort, they just schlump along taking forever, like putting one foot in front of the other is some major ordeal. Is it that they have that little motivation and energy? They just don’t give a shit that several people are waiting on them to cross over? Or some combination of the two? I don’t get it but it drives me fucking nuts. Just cross the damned street and be done with it and get out of my way you fat fucking cow.

    1. Dude you sound like you upset, like let the cow walk in front of you

    2. Dude, 110% right on. Disregard anything anyone says to the contrary. The way women (especially my wife) go about executing the mundane, though arguably necessary physical processes common to any life form is little more than a masquerade obscuring their true intent. A deliberately malicious excersise in dominance and control via seemingly innocuous, persistent inconveniencing. Accept no other truth. You’re not alone.

    3. What I can’t understand is why in the hell they get pissed when their complete deliberate ass dragging makes us late or miss an opportunity and I ask why or point it out. They NEVER once are apologetic or admit culpability. If I drug my ass like that my friends, family and employer would take me down a peg or two

  2. You “don’t give a flying fuck” that you caused someone to waste a whole day waiting on you? Thank you for admitting that you don’t give a shit about your fellow human.

  3. It’s possibly the most infuriating part of any relationship, the wasted time, the lack of interests as a result, wasted money on catching taxis because we’ve missed a bus or train, last minute dinner plans… the list goes on.

    Someone said it already – there’s ZERO accountability felt by my Girlfriend. It’s almost ‘if you love me, accept me’ but conversely I think ‘if you love me, please understand the stress that your lateness causes me’

    She also complains that we don’t ‘do anything’ – well yes! I stopped making plans because it became too stressful, why plan to make something happen if you’re only going to miss the appointment or take the spontaneity out of life and cause my stress levels to rise? You make the plans now I say. but she is incapable because there’s no guarantee she’ll organise herself properly.

    I’ve lost hobbies, interests, time and money because I’ve waited for hours and become despondent. Don’t waste your life! Play the field, dictate terms.

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