UN bans pineapple on pizza


The United Nations has officially banned pineapple as a pizza topping.

The craze of putting pineapple on pizza was started by some asshole during the 1960s. The United Nations has said that the world can no longer go on with pineapple on top of a cheese and tomato base.

A spokeswoman for the United Nation told Grumpy Fuckers:

“It seems as if the world has been turned upside down these last few years and one of the main reasons for this is because people have continued to put pineapple on their pizzas. This horrendous procedure has been going on for far too long and we have now decided to act swiftly to deal with it. We are therefore announcing that from today, pineapple on pizza will be banned. Those attempting to put this exotic fruit on their pizza could face up to ten years in jail. We will not tolerate it any more.”

Pizza-lovers across the world have broadly welcome the move.

“I was happily married for 34 years until I discovered that my wife likes pineapple on her pizza,” said Mario Kart. “We were divorced the next day. I therefore welcome this new ban. I am now looking for a new wife. Hopefully one that has never put pineapple on her pizza.”

13 thoughts on “UN bans pineapple on pizza

  1. Stephen Harding says:

    Are we allowed a Kindle in prison? I have a Kindle Unlimited subscription. I’d hate to miss out….. More pineapple? LOL

  2. Tina says:

    WTF?? What are Hawaiian pizza suppose to do. This has to be a fake story, or the UN is going to be disband by death if they do

  3. Peter Panker says:

    Hey, put the pineapple on the pizza! Then we can identify foofoo’s and commies socially shame them by painting their toenails.

  4. Grumpy In Illinois says:

    About fucking time! Get them to ban those disgusting little fish on pizza too! Who the fuck puts fish on pizza???? Assholes!

  5. Grumpy Fucker in the UK says:

    Why stop at pineapple!?!

    Lets just ban everything on pizza apart from cheese & tomato… I like cheese & tomato…

  6. Dr David Arelette says:

    I agree . Lenin said “workers unite, ending pineapple on your comrade’s pizza will end the bonds of imperial serfdom” Ho Chi Mihn agreed “let us celebrate our victory at Dein Bien Phu over the French fuckers by ending their pineapple growing in our country”- this has been a long time coming.

  7. Agnetha says:

    Wot, no pineapple? Seriously? Who the fucking fuck do these fuckers think they are, the Food Police? If someone wants to have pineapple on their pizza or even oak apple, then for fuck’s sake, let them, you grumpy fuckers. At least leave Britain some democracy, there’s little enough of it as it is. Fuckhats!

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