A vegan has become stranded on a desert island after finding themselves in the middle of a moral dilemma.
Les ‘The Lettuce’ Turnip is now facing the problem of what to eat, according to experts.
Nutrition expert Glenda Thundergunt told GrumpyFuckers:
“We are worried that Les won’t be able to bring himself to slaughter the animals that are on the island and will starve himself to death. We all know that the only source of protein in the world comes from dead animals and if Les doesn’t get his shit together pretty quickly, he’s going to end up as food for the vultures. We would encourage Les to stop being vegan and look after himself properly.
Les managed to get a message home to his family earlier this week. It read:
“I’ve often been asked the question ‘What would I eat if I get stuck on a desert island?’. There are wild pigs running around here, as well as sheep and cows and all kinds of animals. And I’ll be eating what they’re eating. It’s rather nice being away from all the arseholes in the world so I’m beginning to think that this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Everyone can go fuck themselves. Apart from the animals obvs.”