Supermarkets have started selling phallic vegetables to bored housewives under the guide of ‘wonky vegetable boxes’.
Sales of so-called ‘wonky boxes’, which are made up of the shit vegetables that no-one really wants, have risen dramatically since their launch last week.
Store manager Tony Grimm told GrumpyFuckers:
“We’re pretending that we’re cutting down on food waste by announcing these veggie boxes for sale but really we are looking to tap into the ‘fifty shades’ market. These housewives are bored shitless of their husbands and are looking for a new thrill. We like to think that we can offer a cheap and healthy alternative to electronic devices.”
Shopper and bored housewife Glenda DryFlaps said:
“I can’t wait to get this home! I’ve stocked up on cheap wine and I’ve got myself a box load of parsnips that look like giant cocks. I’m in for a good night.”