Scientists have officially confirmed that more than 90% of the population suffers from Obsessive Coffee Disorder.
Sufferers from the condition complain of being grumpy fuckers unless they get their fix of coffee.
Prof. Timmy CleverClogs who made the announcement said:
“Sufferers of Obsessive Coffee Disorder often find themselves find that they can’t function when they wake up in the morning until they’ve downed a mug of brown. Headaches, muscle spasms and punching other people in the face very hard are all symptoms that can only be fixed with coffee. We have done some research and we have found that more than 90% of the population suffer from this.”
One sufferer told GrumpyFuckers:
“What are you looking at? Do you want a punch in the fucking face? I’ll smash your face right in…[drinks coffee]. Oh hi. How are you? Are you well?”