83% dogs bark just to be annoying little bastards

noisy-fucking-dog

83% of the world’s dog population bark just to be annoying little bastards.

That’s the startling conclusion into a recent study into why the little shits make so much noise.

Professor Danny Dogger who headed up the survey said:

“We spoke to over 450 dogs and asked them the same question – Why do you bark? In over 83% of cases, the dogs replied that they bark just to be annoying little bastards. Some dogs said that they only barked to piss their owners off and some also said that they barked to annoy neighbours. What we are seeing here is a large-scale attempt by our canine friends to be annoying fuckers, and this will help us going forward in finding ways to stop them being so noisy.”

One dog said:

“Yeah man. I just bark to piss my owners off. I usually like barking when their favourite TV show comes on. I’ll bark until they tell me to stop and when they do, I bark even more. I also like to bark when they’re trying to get their jig on. There’s nothing funnier than seeing my owner trying to get his end away while trying to stop me from barking at the same time.”

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5 thoughts on “83% dogs bark just to be annoying little bastards

  1. Cheryl Bailey says:

    I love your fucking Xmas cards and everything you send through. You guys are so funny.
    My dogs bark all the fucking time the little bastards, just like my old man. Never shuts up.
    Thanks for everything. Feral Cheryl x

  2. John Rhodes says:

    Who gives a shit about the fucking dogs? Keep this crap to yourself and quit pestering us grumpy fuckers with your useless rambling. Merry fucking Christmas.

  3. Steve says:

    My dogs bark like fuck whenever some fucker knocks on the door. I’d tell em off but there French bulldogs and I don’t speak a word of French.

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