Woman thrown out of coffee shop after asking for decaf

A woman has been thrown out of a coffee shop after she asked for a decaf Americano.

Lisa Largethighs was thrown out of Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop early yesterday morning.

Shop manager Clive Grimgrits told Grumpy Fuckers:

“We get all kinds of arseholes coming in here and every single one of them is grumpy as fuck. The only way that they manage to get through the day is to drink shitloads of coffee. It’s the only thing they can do to get through the day. We were all in a grumpy mood yesterday when this posh tart comes waltzing in. First thing she said to me was ‘Good morning’ and I could tell straight away that she was too happy for comfort. I think at one point, she even smiled. Then she dropped the bombshell and asked for decaf. The shop fell silent. I asked her to repeat what she had just said and with a smile on her face, asked for decaf. Within seconds, she was outside on her arse. I wasn’t putting up with any of that shit.”

Largethighs said she usually asks for decaf as it makes her poop.

“I usually ask for decaf because it makes me poop,” she said.