A woman has burnt 600 calories talking about her new diet.
Weightwatcher Gladys Thunderbuns said that the new diet replaces the old diet that she was doing last week.
She told Grumpy Fuckers:
“Last week’s diet was rubbish. I was on it three days and only lost half an ounce. This new diet is wonderful. It mainly involves me talking about it to the point where I burn off calories. Yesterday, I went into work and talked about it for seven hours non-stop. I checked my phone app and it told me that I’d burnt 600 calories – just from talking about it. Today, I’m going to talk about it even more because my work colleagues are so interested in it. I can tell that they are interested in it because they yawn a lot and one friend even threw his desk upside down to celebrate my calorie loss. I’m a new woman.”
Gladys’s boss, Jim said:
“If she talks about that fricking diet for one more minute, I’m firing the shit out of her. I don’t want to hear any more about it.”