Police have been given emergency new powers to shoot anyone who asks ‘All ready for Christmas?’
Thousands of people are expected to fall foul of the new law, which takes place with immediate effect.
PC Plod of the Police Force Federation told Grumpy Fuckers:
“We’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of people asking this question so we referred the matter to the local council. They boys and girls down there were pretty good at passing this act, which means that we can shoot people on the spot should we hear them asking this bloody question. We had a woman last night who came into the station to report a break-in and while she was waiting to see someone, she asked one of our officers whether they were ready for Christmas. She was shot, beaten about the head with a bottle of gin and placed in handcuffs. We have also sent out special undercover officers to infiltrate places of work.”
The new law also applies to people asking ‘What are you doing for Christmas?’
Royston Butterscotch is an international sex god and playboy of the highest repute. He is the lead writer at Grumpy Fuckers.
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