Men to receive free evening classes to decipher women’s non-verbal cues

Men are to receive free evening classes to help them decipher women’s non-verbal cues.

The announcement was made today by some guy from the government. He told GrumpyFuckers:

“Us lads have no idea what women mean when they say stuff. Last night, my missis told me that I was a fat, overpaid twat. I found out later that she was really saying ‘Can I have a hug please?’ It’s this kind of thing that lads across the world get confused about – women say one thing but mean another.”

The news has been welcomed by some of the boys down the local bar. Sid FourEyes said that the classes would help him understand women better.

“I came home last night to find my wife standing in the kitchen. She looked very upset and when I asked her what the matter was, she told me that she’d had a tough day at work and that she wanted a divorce. I later found out that she just wanted me to wash the dishes. All she had to do was ask me and I would have done them. As it is, I’m now divorced. Anyone want to go on a date with me.”

Housewife Sammy Slackflaps reacted to the news by saying:

“I need to take my dog out for a walk.” (SUBTITLES: I’m going to get my hair done. Can you keep an eye on the potatoes please?)