A man has sold his homing pigeons for the 47th time this year after the birds repeatedly returned home.
Every time Darryl Twosheds drops his pigeons off to the buyer, he returns to find the fuckers back home.
He told Grumpy Fuckers:
“I bought these homing pigeons because nobody likes me and I thought I’d made some animal friends. Back in the early days, it was wonderful releasing them and letting them find their way home again. But then they started making extortionate demands and they were getting on my tits. In the end, I decided to sell the fuckers.
“I popped them on eBay and managed to sell them all within the first hour. I drove them 30 miles to drop them off but when I got home, there they were. This has happened 47 times now and I’m not happy about it. In fact, I’m going to write a strongly-worded letter of complaint to the local newspaper about it all.”
Darryl’s wife Susan said:
“My husband’s a dickhead and always has been. I can’t stand the sight of him. Would you like to buy him from me?”