Man seizes wrong day

A 46 year old man has seized the wrong day while trying to make his life more interesting.

Donny Dickwash was hoping to seize a Monday but seized a Tuesday instead.

He told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I never get anything right in life. Nothing. I once married a woman and it was only three months into the marriage that I realised that she had a cock. Only last week, I was driving down the road and the guy in the car in front chucked out a plum. For some reason, I thought it was a hand grenade so I swerved to avoid getting blown up and crashed into a petrol station, which blew up. I thought I’d try and add some positivity to my life after seeing a motivational picture that my friend had put on Facebook. The picture said ‘Seize The Day!’ so I did. Sadly for me, I seized a Tuesday when I was hoping for a Monday. I really am thick as shit.”

Donny said that he realises now why he hasn’t got any friends.

“I’m just a complete failure and that’s fine with me because that’s what my Mum always used to tell me so it sorta fits.”

Get your FREE 64 page ebook

Pop your email in the box below and we'll send you a link to download your free 64 page Grumpy Fuckers Guide To Life

By sending us your email address, you are consenting to us sending you emails every few days in addition to the free ebook. We don’t spam or give your details away to any other fuckers - that's a promise!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.