Dogs trained to say thanks to owners who pick up their shit

A new training regime for dogs will see dogs thanking the mugs who pick up their shit.

Unlike cats who hide their turds, dogs simply empty their bowels and fuck off to sniff things like plants and stuff.

Derek Dunce, director of Dog Owners R Mugs told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I’ve had dogs all of my life and not one of them has ever thanked me for picking up their shit. In fact, they’ve taken me for granted for so long now that it’s a joke. I’ve therefore devised a training regime so that dogs can thank us for picking up their shit. It’s a four week training course; dogs will go through some reflection on their current behaviour to begin with. We’ll then do some role playing where owners will shit on the carpet and dogs will be expected to pick it up. At the end of the four weeks, the dogs will receive a certificate and a biscuit because they’ll do anything for a biscuit. I’d like to think that the world will be a nicer place – even if dogs can’t pick up after themselves, a thank you to their owners wouldn’t go amiss.”

One dog said:

“Hey man. You bought me. You can expect to pick up my shit. I’m not going on this patronising so-called training course thanks.”

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