95% of married life is shouting ‘What?’ from other rooms

Scientists have successfully concluded that 95% of married life is shouting ‘What?’ from other rooms.

The other 5% of marriage is actually hearing your partner muttering ‘Doesn’t matter’ at the end of an unsuccessful room-to-room conversation.

Professor Brian Bellend who headed up the survey said:




“I’ve been married for 17 years now and not a day goes by where I find myself shouting ‘What?’ to my other half who has started talking to me from the other end of the house. God knows how she thinks I’m going to hear her. We were thinking of installing some kind of walkie-talkie system in the house but she shot that down in flames yet still continues to start conversations in other rooms. I thought I’d look into this in more detail so I conducted a study of 3,000 married couples. I found that in all cases, this was happening. It happens all over the world and in all cultures. 95% of married life consists of shouting ‘What?’ from other rooms. It’s a staggering figure.”

One married couple who took part in the study said that they have now resorted to phoning each other from separate rooms.

“She never bloody answers her phone though,” said the husband.