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PROVEN: Smiling makes you wrinkly – resting bitch faces keep you looking young

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Researchers at a very posh university have scientifically proven that people with resting bitch faces look younger.

Their work proves that people who smile too much look wrinkly and that too much happiness can leave you looking haggard and miserable.

Professor Brian CleverClogs who headed the study told Grumpy Fuckers:




“Us clever people have suspected this for a long time now. Many years ago, we studied a woman who never moved her face, not even to speak. She’d write everything down instead. She never laughed, looked shocked – she literally did nothing with her face. That was 40 years ago and she still looks exactly the same. On the other hand, we started keeping track of another subject who’d laugh at anything – even TV comedy Joey. She was very expressive and as a result, her skin’s gone to shit. She looks like Mick Jagger after a particularly long session on Class A drugs. Our study therefore shows that smiling makes you look wrinkly. We therefore conclude that resting bitch faces actually make you look younger than your happy counterparts so there is every reason to be grumpy in your life.”

One woman who took part in the study said:

“I thought I was the happiest woman in the world until I looked in the mirror at the age of 40. My face looked like a bag of shit. I should have spent my life as a proper grumpy fucker so that I wouldn’t be in this mess now.”




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