Woman fakes own death to avoid sexual advances of her husband

A woman has faked her own death to avoid having to have a romantic interlude with her husband.

Jennie Dryflaps said that she was fed up of her fella rubbing his semi up against her back to turn her on.

She told her local press:

“When my fella and I first got together, we were at it all over the place, all the time. We were tied at the groins – nothing could stop us getting it on. We’d do it at home, in the car, in the shopping mall – even in church. Then we got married and that was the end of that. Recently, he’s taken to rubbing his half-chubby up against my back in a bid to turn me on but it’s making me feel physically sick. He doesn’t even speak to me – he just rubs it all over like he’s painting my back with it. Yesterday morning, I’d had enough so I pretended I was dead. After two hours, he realised that I wasn’t responding and called an ambulance. They carted me off and once I was in the back of the ambulance, I was able to sit up and have a cup of tea. I phoned home an hour later, pretending that I was doctor, and telling him that I’d died. He took it pretty well. I’ve now booked a flight to Mexico where I can get some Mexican hunk to ravage me on the beach.”

Jennie said that faking her own death was worth it:

“At least I won’t have to deal with that every morning from now on.”

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