Woman divorces husband after he leaves traces of butter in the jam

A woman has filed for divorce after 30 years of marriage after finding traces of butter in her jam.

Ethel Leathercrotch said she’d been putting up with that butter-in-the-jam shit for too long and she’d had enough.

Husband Terry told Grumpy Fuckers:

“She went absolutely apeshit. I’ve been making her toast and jam every morning for the last 30 years. It was only today after she’d come back from bingo that she fancied a slice of toast and decided to make it herself. Of course, she opened the jam pot and saw a sliver of butter in there. There was a momentary pause before she threw the pot of jam at my head and punched the dog in the face. She then flounced out of the front door and smashed up my car. That was the last I saw of her. A few days later, I had a letter from her solicitor asking for a divorce. I don’t know what to do with myself so I’m going carry on making toast and jam every morning in the the hope that one day, she’ll come back.”

Ethel said:

“He can fuck right off is he thinks I’m coming back. I’m moving to Greece to find myself a bronzed Adonis and I’m going to sit on his face all day. Bollocks to the toast and jam.”