Vibrators across the world have been asking their owners for some time out.
The phallic funboys have been in constant demand since the lockdown started, but many are now experiencing burnout.
One dildo told Grumpy Fuckers:
“I’m used to working once, maybe twice a week. This week, I’ve put in 17 shifts, including 7 in just one day. My owner doesn’t know whether she’s coming or going, as it were. All I know is that I’m exhausted. I’ve had to change my battery three times this week and I’m just hoping that she’ll run out and won’t be able to go to the shops to get more. I wasn’t built for this kind of industrial abuse. I should have joined the union when I had the chance. I can’t get a word in edgeways and I wake up every morning with a horrible feeling of dread coming over me. I don’t think I can take any more.”
One user told Grumpy Fuckers:
“I’ve completed Netflix and YouTube and the only thing left for me to do now is frig myself to death. It’s not my fault. I blame the government.”