Premenstrual syndrome conference erupts in violence after chocolate and wine supplies run out

An international conference debating Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) descended into violence last night after supplies of wine and chocolate ran out.

The conference, held at St George’s Hall in London, was intended to find ways to make the monthly biological occurrence more bearable for both women and their partners. But following an announcement that both the wine and chocolate stocks had run dry, women began screaming and upturning tables.

An eyewitness told GrumpyFuckers:

“It was awful. I was at the bar getting some ice cream when this woman started getting tetchy. It was awful. The barman looked at her in slightly the wrong way so she climbed over the bar and started smashing him over the head with a plastic bowl. Then she burst into tears and kept asking him if he loved her.”

Order was finally restored after police turned up. One office said:

“I could feel the tension in the air. Thankfully, someone went to the corner shop and bought a shitload of chocolate so that kept them happy for a few hours when they all started feeling guilty about eating it.”

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