People who do stuff primarily with their left hands have been told to grow the fuck up.
It is estimated that 100% of left-handers only do so to piss other people off.
Arthur TwoPorches, President of the Right-Handed Hand Group, told Grumpy Fuckers:
“We’ve put up with these idiots for years. Going around, doing stuff with their left hands like as if that’s their naturally dominant hand. We all know that these left-handers are right-handers in disguise and we urge them to stop arsing around and grow up. We’re fed up with having to provide ambidextrous pens and pencils for them. Enough is enough. God made you a certain way and I’m pretty sure that he mentioned something in it when he wrote the Bible.”
Left-handed Gillian Gobshite said:
“I can’t help it. I do everything with my left-hand apart from pick my nose. No particular reason.