If you woke up this morning, happy that you were alive and that a new day is a new start – think again.
That’s because it’s International Neg Head Day, the day where all the doom-and-gloomers come out and shit all over any little piece of happiness you have.
Organiser Jimmy LardArse told Grumpy Fuckers:
“We’ve been wanting to launch this day for years but we couldn’t be arsed and we never thought it’d do any good. I still don’t see what it’s going to achieve to be honest but I’ve recently been sacked for being too negative so I’d rather do that than sit around trying to better my life. We’re not expecting it to be a successful day.”
Neg heads all over the world are being encouraged to put the dampeners on any one’s positivity today.
“If someone tells you about their exciting new plan, point out how it’ll never work. If someone’s achieved something that they’ve been striving for ages to achieve, point out what they haven’t achieved yet. If anyone tells you that they’re happy, point out all their failings,” added LardArse.