A terrier has saved his owner from the murder by 13 postmen, 46 bin men and 103 cyclists in the last week with just his barking.
Rufus has scared away would-be murderers from the house with his yapping and hollering.
Owner Chris SmellyHouse told Grumpy Fuckers:
“I’m so glad I bought him. I would have been murdered a hundred times over if it wasn’t for Rufus. I had a sneaky suspicion about the postie – every time he comes up my path, he’s got that murderous glint in his eye. And the other day, I was just sitting down to watch Peak Practice and this cyclist went past. Rufus started scaring him away and if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have got to see Peak Practice. As it is, I’m working my way through the second series.”
Rufus however, feels that Chris is not as grateful as he should be. He said:
“I stand at that fecking window day and night guarding the realm. And every time a murderer comes up the path, I’m the one fending them away. What do I get? I get shouted at and a slipper thrown at me. It’s not on. If he’s not careful, I’m going to walk away from this family. Then he’ll see what he’s missing.”