Appropriate Eyebrow Education is to be taught in schools for the first time from October.
New directives are set to warn children about the dangers of looking like a cockwomble.
A government spokeswoman said:
“Ten years ago, eyebrows weren’t a problem. The one day, a beauty technician who was having a quiet week thought up the ‘problem’ of normal eyebrows. They started telling people that their eyebrows were shit and that they needed to be sorted. Naturally, people flocked from all around the world to have their eyebrows sorted. Other beauty technicians cottoned on to the idea and started offering their brand of eyebrow treatments, often just using a permanent black marker pen. Since then, people all over the world have been colouring their faces, some of them looking like right cockwombles. Our children need to be protected against this. They need to be reminded that it’s ok to have natural eyebrows so we’re introducing this into schools.”
One pupil at a local school said:
“My mam colours in her face every day before she goes to work. I want to tell her that she looks like a cockwomble but I’m scared that she’ll take my dinner money off me.”
Classes will be rolled out across Wales from October 4th onwards.