Men to receive free ‘wash-up-as-you-go-along-lessons’

Men are to be given free ‘How-to-wash-up-as-you-go-along’ lessons in a new drive to tackle domestic disputes.

The government has made the announcement, following a recent rise in divorce rates, specifically linked to messy kitchens.

A spokesman told GrumpyFuckers:




“Us lads take a lot of pride in the kitchen when we’re preparing meals for our loved ones. But sadly, when the missis takes her plate back to the kitchen when she’s finished, all hell breaks loose when she sees the state of the kitchen. It’s often the cause of long silences on the sofa for the rest of the evening. We are looking to nip this in the bud by teaching men how to wash up as they go along.”

The initiative forms part of the government’s strategy to halt the decline of divorces. Figures show that messy kitchens accounted for 96% of divorces in 2013. One woman told GrumpyFuckers:

“We really don’t know how these men manage it. They manage to use EVERY plate, EVERY saucepan and EVERY knife and fork, just to boil an egg! Whereas we women like to wash as we go along, and in some cases, clean the kitchen before we sit down and eat our meal, men show a distinct lack of cleanliness and order. We welcome these new classes so we can show them how it’s really done.”

Classes will be rolled out in October, to run alongside with the existing ‘Teaching Men How To Put Things Back Where They Belong’ classes.