28% of population consider the coffee bean as their birth stone

A staggering 28% of the population now consider the coffee bean as their birth stone.

The figure was recently published in a report that no one really gives a shit about.

Gordon FatArse, who undertook the study told Grumpy Fuckers:

“Life these days is pretty hectic and rather than turning to hardcore drugs, people are relying on the humble coffee bean to get through the day. People traditionally drank coffee but some are now turning to eating coffee beans raw to give themselves the energy they need. Whereas most people had gems and stones as their birthstones, a large chunk of the population now consider the coffee bean to be their official birth stone. Some keep them in their purses and some even wear them around their necks in case they need a caffeine fix. I’m quite surprised at the findings but then I work in a university so don’t really know what goes on in the outside world in real life.”

One participant said:

“Fuck yeah. The coffee bean is the bomb.”

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