A 17 year old girl has vanished after using moisturiser that makes its users look 20 years younger.
Betty Bumflaps applied the moisturiser on Saturday and hasn’t been seen since.
A spokesman for the local police said:
“We’ve looked high and low for Betty but she seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth. She was last seen sticking this magic cream on her face that makes people look 20 years younger. Given her age, we now think that she looks something that resembles an egg. We’ve put out posters and all that kind of shit but I think it’ll be another 20 years or so before we see her again. To be honest, I don’t have the time to go looking for her. My in-tray is overflowing and I’m not getting paid any extra for speaking to you. If she turns up, she turns up.”
Mum Sheila said:
“She was a pain in the arse anyway.”