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Nightclub bans pouting selfies to stop women looking like cockwombles

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A Welsh nightclub has banned women from pouting when taking selfies to stop them looking like cockwombles.

The Jurassic Park nightclub in Neath has slapped on the ban after women spent all night posing for selfies instead of buying drinks from the bar.

Manager Clayton Smooth told GrumpyFuckers:

“These women spend so long pouting that my bar staff is left with fuck all to do. They never get the photo right first time so they literally spend all night sticking their arms out and taking photos. They look like ‘Class A cockwombles’. Back in the day when I used to go clubbing, we’d drink ten gallons of beer, puke it all back up and then fall asleep on the dance floor. That was called a REAL night out.”

But clubbers haven’t been put off by the new rule.

Sheila Largecalves said:

“Me and my friends will head to the shitters to do it. If we’re not allowed to do this thing in public, it’s only going to go underground. What else can they expect?”

Jurassic Park will be closed this Saturday for urgent repairs to the toilet cubicles after one female clubber got her arse stuck down the pan.

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1 Comment

  1. Terry Bloodworth

    June 22, 2016 at 1:46 am

    I’m a dumb Yank, (although a dumb Yank of Welsh ancestry) who saw the term “cockwomble” in a recent GRUMPY FUCKER article. Would you please explain what this means? Thanks.

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