News

Coffee shop opens for non-morning people

grumpy fuckers coffee shop


A coffee shop has opened in Cardiff for people who hate mornings.

Grumpy Fuckers’ Coffee Shop opened its door yesterday and was overwhelmed by demand.

Manager Clive GrimGrits told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I had to get up at 5am to get the bastard shop open. I hated it. Most people are still sleeping at that time. We opened the shop at 6am and by 7am, we’d already sold out of ‘Fuck You Frappuccinos’ as well as our ‘Piss Poor Tea’. Every fucker who came in had a face on them like a slapped arse so I closed the shop at 8am so I could go home and get some proper sleep like most people do.”

One customer said that she would visit the coffee shop again, despite everyone bumping into each other and not saying a word.

“It was perfect for me. I could just sit there, thinking how shit my life is and how I hated going to work. They guy next to me was asking whether they did any cooked breakfasts but the manager told him to fuck off and get a life. Everyone was grumpy, which was fine because we were all grumpy together.”





212 Comments

212 Comments

  1. topper

    September 1, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    my kind of place!

    • Paul Beaudoin

      September 3, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      I shared this on my FaceBook page! It’s about effen time somebody did this!! Luv the hell out of it & buying a mug as well. Hoping someone in upstate NY copies your approach. Best of luck in your endeavor, Clive. Later, Paul. 😉

      • Janet

        January 13, 2016 at 2:36 am

        Agreed….we need this in Westchester County NY as well….wayyyy too many happy fuckers in the morning around here!

      • grump bitch

        January 31, 2016 at 2:55 pm

        I live upstate Ny would love to open one where i live lol im sure all the grumpy fuckers would love this place lol

        • Richard

          February 7, 2016 at 12:07 am

          No they wouldn’t, they are Grumpy Fuckers after all

        • Jeanne

          February 19, 2017 at 3:32 pm

          Same here, this would be perfect in Dutchess County, NY!

        • Lyrical Love

          February 25, 2017 at 3:06 am

          YOUR Name ‘Grump bitch” Got me over here Rolling in the Deep you made my day I think I’m going to laugh for the next 24 hours from the gutt. Girl I hate mornings too. I was born at 1:25 in the morning I think that has something to do with it so basically I was born after midnight and that’s when I am mostly awake. But like a vampire when the morning comes I want to close the shades down on the world and I don’t want my phone to ring I don’t need nobody leaning on my doorbell and I don’t want nobody to ask me no damn questions.

          Coffee? Uh what is that For? I don’t need no coffee I just need a pillow a cup of lemme the hell alone and some more sleep – don’t wanna wake up til my body says so. I get up at the crack of 2 or 3pm. I’m retired – thank God 🙂

      • Mikel

        February 6, 2016 at 11:20 pm

        1st Americans need to learn how to make a decent coffee…
        In Australia we have the most amazing coffee, when I came to visit last year (LA, San Fran, Vegas, NYC) I swear they were trying to poison me, I was extremely grumpy… 🙂
        I found 3 places in NYC with great coffee, and one called ‘Little Collins’ on Lexington Ave was brilliant & owned by Aussies…

        • Paul

          July 15, 2016 at 8:07 pm

          That is true, and it is because they just buy cheap coffee from Africa, Brazil or Central America. Try Colombia Coffee but the real one and you will see the difference.

        • Christee6

          May 24, 2017 at 5:26 am

          Come to Miami, FL and have yourself a Cuban cafecito, aka rocket fuel, served in a cup about the size of a shot glass. However, don’t be fooled by the size of the cup.

    • Tom

      September 3, 2015 at 10:37 pm

      My paternal great grandparents came from the Cardif area. Would love for Grumpyfuckers to come to the States. Grand Idea.

      • Paul Williams

        January 30, 2016 at 1:26 pm

        All Welshmen (and women) are grumpy fuckers – I know – I’m a grumpy product of them!

        • Mike

          June 24, 2016 at 5:56 am

          Just one question Taffy!
          Are you Williams the Fish or Williams the Meat??

    • mark

      January 16, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      Me too. Wish it were closer. But I’m a yank. Barely know where Cardiff is! But is go for a cup of piss poor tea!

      • Norene Jamesley

        January 21, 2016 at 9:11 am

        Well, shit! I saw “Cardiff” and thought shop was in Cardiff by the Sea, California. Not til I saw the £ currency did I get it. Now I am really a grumpy fucker!

        • Kathleen

          January 23, 2016 at 6:09 am

          LOL Me too!

          • Cunning Stunt

            January 23, 2016 at 10:23 pm

            You ‘murikens aren’t just dumb fuckers, but ignorant fuckers and arrogant fuckers, too. Get a fucken passport or better still a lesson in originating geo-fucken-ography.

            Dumb fucks. And, in any case, what do you dumb fucks know about decent coffee, anyway? Stick to your stupid, fucking Starbucks, fuckers.

        • Sherrell Bennett

          April 2, 2017 at 6:40 pm

          Are you kidding? The so-called “liberal” Californians would never allow a name like that in public!

          • Toni Pelletier

            May 8, 2017 at 5:55 pm

            You are soooooo right! And I’m a Californian, but from NY. Didn’t realize how many grumpy towns there were in NY. 🙂

    • judith

      February 24, 2017 at 5:36 pm

      we definetly need one down here in el paso texas

  2. Christina Miller

    September 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    My brother would of loved this place. He would say “Don’t talk to me until I had my first cup of coffee!”

    • Auld Codger

      September 2, 2015 at 12:59 am

      It’s would HAVE, you silly fucker!

      • OhLuckyUsIt'sYou

        September 4, 2015 at 7:54 am

        Oh fucking great! A fucking grammar cop.

      • abby

        September 5, 2015 at 7:08 am

        Who made you the spelling Police, Christina Is talking about her Brother in a past tense, have you no compassion you Smart fucker!!

        • Fucking Pedant

          September 8, 2015 at 6:33 pm

          If you want to get really goddam pedantic, “would have” is the conditional perfect.

          When English speakers talk, they often contract “would have” to “would’ve” and yeah, that *sounds* like “would of.” But “have” is still the verb we use to make the perfect tense, and this is written fucking English we’re using here, unless I’m very sadly mistaken.

          • clare considine

            November 7, 2015 at 11:46 am

            For some reason I thought a grumpy fucker wouldn’t understand grammar, how fucked is that! Thanks for the link!!!
            Aren’t you glad the sign has an apostrophe after the ‘s’ on the sign outside the coffee shop?

          • TCZ

            January 16, 2016 at 11:55 pm

            I like you grumpy fucker

          • bob onit

            January 25, 2016 at 7:58 pm

            is sod off ! clear enough for your pointless crap you understood the original comment didn’t you then if so go glaze a knuckle wee wanky

          • Mary

            January 30, 2016 at 2:21 pm

            Maybe she’s speaking American! You kn8w howvwe Yanks can muck yhings up!!!

          • tom warner

            February 7, 2016 at 3:08 am

            Sorry, much as I like it, English is not quite fucking perfect…yet. Can you translate Starbuck’s to Dunkin’ Donuts please. Thanks!!

          • tom warner

            February 7, 2016 at 3:13 am

            Nothing like being fucking conditionally perfect now is there? Just enjoy my friends…

      • Jackie

        January 12, 2016 at 11:28 pm

        Lmao!

      • Sheelaghjean

        January 17, 2016 at 11:08 pm

        How marvellous!

      • Cunning Stunt

        January 23, 2016 at 10:25 pm

        A-fucken-men.

        • tom warner

          February 7, 2016 at 3:21 am

          Love your name, but a lot of us in New England prefer DD to Starbuck’s… Oh yeah, it’s ‘mericans with an “A” in front thank you…

          • Cunning Stunt

            February 7, 2016 at 9:11 pm

            When it comes to coffee, the only thing that makes New England slightly better than the rest of that invaded continent is less guns. And the Pats. And the Bruins. And A Friendly’s Jim Dandy. Now, go grab your favourite Chino’s, Topsiders, Lacoste polo and fuck off. I’ll bet you still listen to Blue Oyster Cult and REO Speedwagon. Wicked pissah. 😉

        • Leslie Miller

          April 4, 2017 at 3:42 pm

          this American wants to know if you dumb fucking brit knows where Beaverton is? How is your geography you pussy? Didn’t think blocking replies would keep you safe on that one did you? go play in traffic

        • Trot

          May 2, 2017 at 11:36 am

          Personally, I only like the Dutch coffee shops. My local one in Zandvoort is less than 50 metres away from where I stay. Someone there from 8am to nearly 3am, everyone comes out with a smile on their face, whatever time of day.

      • Bill

        February 2, 2016 at 12:13 am

        Lmfao!

      • Me

        February 5, 2016 at 4:01 pm

        Not if he is now dead!!

      • Jack

        February 19, 2017 at 1:35 am

        C U Next Tuesday. Mother Fricker

      • WORDUP

        March 27, 2017 at 2:01 am

        Awesome. Just like me. Why do people think that “of” is any part of a verb. Ignorance and lack of reading.

    • Christina Miller

      September 20, 2015 at 8:13 pm

      Thank you for the fucking English lesson. You caused a riot!
      My late brother is laughing his fucking ass off. You even pissed off the other fuckers. You fucking curmudgeon!

      • tom warner

        February 7, 2016 at 3:30 am

        Great word – “curmudgeon”- cannot remember when I last heard it, yet it speaks volumes…and being a fucking one is classic…

        • patrick mcelgunn

          May 7, 2017 at 4:25 pm

          What a bunch of grumpy fuckers. Get sand in your vaginas again??

  3. Taleda

    September 1, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    Come to Las Vegas, NV USA …. We have plenty of Grumpy Fuckers all day AND all night long!

    • Stanford Blue

      January 17, 2016 at 12:17 pm

      Exactly why I plan to retire in Sin City! LMAO

      • Aussie

        January 20, 2016 at 7:30 pm

        You mean Lost Wages?

    • Claude

      February 2, 2016 at 1:38 am

      Yes but those fuckers in Vegas are grumpy because they’re broke

  4. Sharon M

    September 1, 2015 at 2:01 pm

    Ahhhh too bad an ocean separates us or I would surely be a regular. I have Welsh roots since my maternal grandfather was born in Cardiff so I especially enjoyed seeing this. Best of luck!

    • John Mason

      September 26, 2015 at 12:45 am

      Oh fuck off. You’re not Welsh at all. You don’t have a taffy particle in you. So stop pretending that you do.

      Why do Americans always claim they have links/roots to anywhere something original might have happened?

      • Sam

        January 14, 2016 at 2:35 pm

        Because Americans have ancestors born elsewhere. Unless they are Native American, they’re blood comes from other countries. Many of them even uphold traditions of their ancestors and where they came from. It’s not that they “claim” this, it’s that it is true.

        • Skylit

          January 17, 2016 at 2:56 am

          I, being of Native Indian decent, can tell you that we also originated elsewhere. It’s just that this country was ours first. Before some f…ing blimey came and impregnated one of my great, great great Grandparents. In all do respect. Spell check ready.

          • Betty Korpisto

            February 5, 2016 at 7:54 pm

            **due respect
            (The Grammar Police are alive & well in Canada, as well.)

          • Mahalia

            February 9, 2016 at 9:29 pm

            Always a good job right here. Keep rolling on thrguoh.

      • Melissa

        January 15, 2016 at 2:34 pm

        You do realize that aside from the Native American Indians EVERYONE in America came from somewhere else. God you’re a fucking dumbass.

      • Turd Ferguson

        January 15, 2016 at 3:57 pm

        Because all of our fucking ancestors came from other places, like mine from Scotland, not fucking Wales. Only the Native Americans can claim this shithole as the place of their fucking ancestors.

        • Pincus Sititsky

          January 31, 2016 at 11:28 pm

          Wrong! Indigenous peoples of America came from Asia and all of humanity came from Africa. We are all Africans genetically. The only thing that separates us is culture. I am an über-culturist and my culture is 12-23 F.D.R. Drive apt. 3C, mother-fuckers!

      • Sumdude

        January 15, 2016 at 7:26 pm

        For Fuck sake, Americans didn’t originate on this continent and largely got here between 1 and 5 generations ago, pretty much. I only have to go back 4 to get to Germany, and maybe 5 to get to Ireland.

      • shauncey wade

        January 17, 2016 at 3:08 am

        Hey I still have Aunts and Uncles that live in Ireland, ass

      • tom warner

        February 7, 2016 at 3:35 am

        Pray tell then, what is a ‘taffy particle’? A toy perhaps?

      • Leslie Miller

        April 4, 2017 at 3:46 pm

        Really? you have had a sample of her dna tested? No. than fuck off

  5. valerie cross

    September 1, 2015 at 2:08 pm

    love this place will deffo visit don’t know when . but there should be loads more dotted around the country here’s looking for you x

  6. shelley stoneley

    September 1, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    I really wished we had 1 of these where I live I think we’ve got a lot of ppl that are grumpy fuckers lol…. congratulations on the opening of your shop 😀

  7. Yoda

    September 1, 2015 at 4:09 pm

    Love this, we need you in Houston TX

  8. Karen Shellhammer

    September 1, 2015 at 5:49 pm

    Love this , my husband. Is the biggest grump in the world.

    • Tracey Queripel

      January 13, 2016 at 3:49 pm

      No, mine is. Grumpy bastard!

    • britt

      January 16, 2016 at 10:54 pm

      Hahahaaa

  9. Geneva

    September 1, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this

  10. Michael Gallegos

    September 1, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Opens coffee shop here in Wichita Kansas. And I could be the manager. I love my coffee. And the coffee shop would do. Great here.

  11. Kristi Miller

    September 1, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Fuck off & get me my coffee and don’t tell me you are out of creamer!!!
    Thank you and have a nice day!

    • Cunning Stunt

      January 23, 2016 at 10:36 pm

      Why don’t you learn to drink real fucken coffee first, you fuckwit. Fake “Creamer” does not belong anywhere near real, fucking coffee. Then again, no wonder you fucken ‘murikens are so grumpy. Your lives are disappointment in a cup filled with fake whitener. Much like your tea party, GOP politics.

      • bob onit

        January 25, 2016 at 8:10 pm

        another crooked tooth brit running his gob full of terra cotta teeth .on your bike bozo,still pissed about cornholeis,or cornwallis,what was that quitters name never remember the losers if it wasn’t for the celts your island would be nothing but a bunch of rock band posers crying about trump,and sucking up to bollywood

        • Cunning Stunt

          February 2, 2016 at 1:27 am

          Yet another geographically- and politically-challenged knucklehead. Just because I can spell and can use grammar correctly does not make me British. It’s encouraging to know, though, that you do at least recognise it when it is used. Oh, and huzzah to you for beating the poorly organised British army on your “own” soil. Oh, that’s right. You couldn’t do it on your own. You needed the French to win for you. Vive l’difference.

          • gordon

            February 4, 2016 at 10:28 am

            Just look at a fucking map. North America is virtually a big island surrounded by millions of square miles of fuck all. The inhabitants, with their dumbed-down education, don’t know or even need to know what’s out there beyond all that ocean. The rest of the world might just as well be fucking Narnia for all the relevance it has in their little parochial lives.

          • Gwyn

            February 4, 2016 at 6:13 pm

            Considering most Americans and many Europeans think that all Africans are black. HULLO there are white Africans. I and ten generations of my ancestors were all born in Africa. I actually do know where Cardiff is in Wales and I have been there.

          • Lainey

            February 10, 2016 at 12:13 am

            Try spelling recognize and organized correctly fucker!

          • Gwyn

            February 10, 2016 at 11:00 am

            Just because you are merrycan and can’t spell like us English speaking people doesn’t mean you can criticize us for have a GRUMPY FUCKERS COFFEE SHOP where we Fucking want to.

    • gordon

      February 3, 2016 at 11:34 pm

      What the fuck is creamer? You can be really fussy about what kind of coffee you drink and where beans come from then you’re happy to adulterate it with nasty crap produced from fucked-about-with veg oil instead of real cream or milk just because it’s easier and cheaper for those selling the stuff.

      • Gwyn

        February 4, 2016 at 6:17 pm

        Can think of only one thing more disgusting being added to my coffee and that is artificial sweeteners. BLECCH!!! Drink the fucking stuff without sugar but don’t pollute it with that cancer making crap.

      • Paulette

        February 13, 2016 at 7:34 am

        How about some coffee beans that were digested by monkeys or whatever first? What do you think the grumpies would say to that?

        • Gwyn

          February 13, 2016 at 3:53 pm

          Kopi luwak – It’s the coffee beans which have gone through a wild cat that you have to drink. That is the really expensive one. But who the fuck cares. I just want a decent cup of coffee without having to be bright and fucking shiny about it.

      • Cucking Funt

        July 19, 2016 at 8:49 am

        Where I come from, ‘a creamer’ is what red blooded males have hanging between their legs!

  12. DutchSin

    September 2, 2015 at 1:11 am

    Here in The Netherlands nobody get grumpy
    http://www.thebulldog.com

    • gordon

      February 3, 2016 at 11:38 pm

      Maybe hard for some to believe but I can confirm that the entire population of The Netherlands are the most fucking irritatingly jolly and ungrumpy people that it has ever been my misfortune to be stuck amongst. Particularly in the coffee shops.

    • Born bred grumpy in Wales

      February 6, 2016 at 6:51 am

      Fan bloody tastic! Another Dutchmen that wants to give their opinion – who gives a fuck ‘happy feet’

      Try Disney Land site with the rest of those American ‘Grumpy fucker wanna bees ‘

  13. Corina

    September 2, 2015 at 1:51 am

    I sent this to my brother, who can be a grumpy fucker when he doesn’t have his coffee. Too bad you aren’t in Newfoundland, Canada…… He’d love it or hate it….. whatever.

  14. Arlene Washington

    September 2, 2015 at 2:32 am

    Love the name!!! Hope you can come to Arizona too!!!!

  15. Raquel

    September 2, 2015 at 2:56 am

    Where is this place located?

    • Dee

      September 2, 2015 at 12:27 pm

      Read the article. It states quite plainly where it is.

      • Paula

        September 4, 2015 at 5:47 am

        Dee you are a fucker yourself!! Are you kidding me? Someone asked where the place was located and you said it states it in the article . Let me tell you something fucker and that is some people are geographically challenged. Have you ever heard the phase that ‘ the more you travel the smaller the word appears’? Must suck to be a know it all. In fact it would have taken you less time and energy to let the person know where Cardiff is located then to say ‘ it’s in the article if you read it’ . I bet your the type of person that would never ask for direction . I myself had to google where this place was. Woopy do huh? I hope if you yourself ever find you way there that you buy yourself a cuppa and fucking chill you pompous asshole!!

        • GramPo

          January 15, 2016 at 7:02 pm

          It’s whoop-de-doo, fucker.

          • Cunning Stunt

            January 23, 2016 at 10:38 pm

            RO-fucking-FL!

        • Seismo

          January 20, 2016 at 12:08 am

          Why didn’t the person google it for themselves in the first place?

      • JAM

        September 5, 2015 at 4:16 am

        It says Cardiff. There’s a Cardiff in Northern California. Now be nice!

        • Skylit

          January 17, 2016 at 3:23 am

          That’s Southern Calif….geeesz…bunch ah dumb….let’s hear it everyone…all together….F….ers!!!…this has got to be too much fun…lol

      • Capt Obvious

        September 18, 2015 at 7:28 pm

        THANK YOU!!! Apparently some people can’t read.

    • Paula

      September 4, 2015 at 5:54 am

      I had to google it myself and it said it is in South Wales . Some jerk ( Dee ) told you to read the article. I hate know it alls!!

    • Boss

      December 27, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      It’s only the capital of Wales. Bet your American.

      • Gonzo Ronson

        February 5, 2016 at 2:38 am

        Sorry. I’m fresh out of Americans to bet.

      • Mo

        February 5, 2016 at 11:11 pm

        Bet you’re American.

    • Boss

      December 27, 2015 at 8:28 pm

      It’s only the capital of Wales. Bet your American.

    • Turd Ferguson

      January 15, 2016 at 4:05 pm

      Cardiff, Wales. Didn’t you read, How Green Was My Fucking Valley’, by that Welsh midget, Richard Llewellyn?

  16. Virginia

    September 2, 2015 at 9:49 am

    HAHAHA!! This place would give a place I know here in Sydney a run for it’s money!! The owners are SO RUDE and throw the F-bomb around like salt!!

    • Cheyenne

      January 15, 2016 at 2:24 am

      I’m in Sydney. Can you tell me which cafe. I would love to visit it.

      • Skylit

        January 17, 2016 at 3:27 am

        So funny…it’s called….Grumpy Fuck ers Coffee Shop!

        • Jen McLeaster

          February 4, 2016 at 5:57 pm

          I think they were referring to which coffe shop in Sydney throws around the F bomb.
          Why is everyone getting their panties in a bunch. I think everyone can agree this is a great name that will generate a lot of business. A lot of people who travel will make a point to stop there. Everyone believes their culture is superior to others but grumpy fuckers are everywhere.

  17. peter

    September 2, 2015 at 1:31 pm

    Even after a coffee I am a mucking ciserable funt. Branch in Richmond please

  18. angie

    September 2, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    were in cardiff are you

    • Fuck me

      January 16, 2016 at 12:22 am

      ‘Were’? Do you mean ‘where’? I wish English speakers would fuckin learn to write their own language!

      • JT

        January 22, 2016 at 12:17 pm

        I think she means we are. abbreviate we’re. I

        Now that’s English.

      • Cunning Stunt

        January 23, 2016 at 10:41 pm

        Fuck, yes.

  19. AJ Janssen

    September 3, 2015 at 10:23 am

    I want to open one in my town, no really I do!

  20. julie

    September 3, 2015 at 1:45 pm

    I think thats s great for those who are like that all day ha ha as i do no a lot of people . I an not one off them tho thank goodness. And why dose the owner have to say the f ——-.As i think that he needs to get a life.!!!! ???? Miss J stead.☺

    • Boss

      December 27, 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Poop your fucking American I bet. Have a nice day y’all . In England we like to say fuck of. You love our sexy accents and we hate your annoying chatter. The worst so called English. Trumping South Africa !

  21. GG

    September 3, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    A work colleague sent me the link and made me aware of this. I hope she orders me a Grumpy Fucker mug to drink my coffee from.
    I wish there was a store here where I live.

  22. Nicholas

    September 3, 2015 at 5:01 pm

    Love it!

  23. Melissa B

    September 3, 2015 at 7:31 pm

    Please come to rehoboth mass

  24. Ryan F

    September 4, 2015 at 5:29 am

    Can we get one of these in Canada? Toronto? Please?

  25. Jim Moore

    September 4, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Wait. This is a real shop?!?

  26. Sam the Eagle

    September 4, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    No matter how funny you think you are, the café name is still in bad TASTE. so you are funny lacking. No doubt the coffee has a nasty Taste too, to equate with the ‘T’

    • Janet

      January 13, 2016 at 2:44 am

      Sam the Eagle, you can Fuck off “..to equate with the F”.

      • Cunning Stunt

        January 23, 2016 at 10:58 pm

        LOL with a capital F.

    • Fuck me

      January 16, 2016 at 12:26 am

      Oh Sam, you give miserable fuckers like me a bad name. Actually I feel quite happy as a result of seeing how bloody miserable you actually are.
      If you don’t like it, move the fuck on.

    • Skylit

      January 17, 2016 at 3:31 am

      Oh my…we have a Mr. GRUMPY PANTS HERE….!

    • Cunning Stunt

      January 23, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      Like the nasty, fucking taste of tea party-inspired ‘murinken chicory flavoured mud you incorrectly call “coffee”.
      Now, FRO, you humorless bell end.

    • gordon

      February 3, 2016 at 11:54 pm

      No matter how funny everyone else in the world apart from Sam the Eagle thinks you are the café name is still in bad TASTE so Sam the Eagle is funny lacking making him a prime Grumpy Fucker so why is he complaining? The coffee DOES have a nasty taste admittedly since it’s bought in from Starbucks.

    • SammySeal

      May 9, 2017 at 6:25 am

      I totally agree with you. Can’t believe the name was allowed in the first place!!! In a society where we are trying to bring up children who don’t swear, this is certainly not helping…

  27. linda F. jones

    September 5, 2015 at 2:17 am

    Perfect shop for my son to run, he hates fucking coffee and fucking morning fuckers with fucking smiles on their fucking faces. One of your shops would be a fucking hit in this fucking happy town of CHELSEA, USA!

  28. celticgeek

    September 5, 2015 at 4:24 am

    Iechyd da!

    • Cunning Stunt

      January 23, 2016 at 11:02 pm

      Yn olaf, mae rhai cudd-wybodaeth.

      • Pincus Sititsky

        January 31, 2016 at 11:12 pm

        Wrong! No intelligence at all. All of you spoiled a special word and made it acceptable to the bourgeoisie. You wet shits!

  29. Surly Sod

    September 5, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Brilliant! Even the comment section is like a genuine Grumpy Fuckers forum! They do indeed walk among us. Mumbling profanities to themselves!

    • Boss

      December 27, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      Fuckin right.

    • Fuck me

      January 16, 2016 at 12:28 am

      Absofuckinlutely.

      We need a cafe like this in fuckin Glasgow.

      • Derek

        January 17, 2016 at 12:39 pm

        They’re a’ like that in fuckin’ Glasgow, no?

      • gordon

        February 3, 2016 at 11:08 pm

        Every fuckin cafe in Glasgow is like this apart from the plastic fuckin American chains

  30. david roberts

    September 5, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    Open one in Swansea and I’ll be there frequently. Probably swearing at the staff.

  31. Gerry Edwards

    September 5, 2015 at 7:36 pm

    just give me my fuckin coffee and nobody gets hurt.

  32. Fucker

    September 5, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    A lot of you are grumpy fuckers.

    • Fuck me

      January 16, 2016 at 12:30 am

      And..?

  33. grumpyguitarist

    September 5, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    If I gave a shit I’d think this was bloody good

  34. Caroline Viola

    September 8, 2015 at 9:16 am

    What is the address? I will have to visit the place when I visit my son and family in Cardiff later this year.

    • Cunning Stunt

      January 23, 2016 at 10:53 pm

      13 Rwyt t’in Dip Ave
      Pa-mor-fud-ydych-chi
      Cardiff, Wales, CF69

  35. Jes

    September 17, 2015 at 8:57 pm

    Theres no actual store. Just a creative guy stiring up the public. Love it.

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  37. Ali Eaton

    September 29, 2015 at 5:36 am

    Is this a pukka coffe shop? If so, whereabouts in Cardiff are you. I wanna cup!

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  39. Gwyn

    January 11, 2016 at 11:51 am

    I fucking hate mornings. I need a Grumpy Fuckers franchise right here in Joburg. I just want to beat the living shit out of cheerful morning people. I hate them!!!

  40. Kevin Fuckin Wellman

    January 13, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    There is no fuckin store you dull fuckers. This is Welsh humour, we make shit up.

  41. Donna Souza

    January 13, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    completely priceless, please open one in Franklin Ma and I will be the Grumpy bitch to run it.

  42. BostonGrumpyFuckers

    January 13, 2016 at 5:45 pm

    Need a Boston Grumpy fuckers’. Beantown loaded with grumpy fuckers

    • Skylit

      January 17, 2016 at 3:46 am

      Nothing worse then shit stinking, farting, grumpy fuckers!!!!

  43. FuckStarbucks

    January 13, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Fuck Starbucks, it’s time for Grumpy Fuckers

  44. redrover

    January 14, 2016 at 4:25 am

    Fuck this place. They closed at 8 a.m. .What the Fuck is that? Non morning people like myself ain’t about to get up at the ass crack of dawn to buy shitty coffee. We would much rather wait till 10 a.m.

  45. Monica DeMaris

    January 14, 2016 at 5:15 am

    Someone needs to franchise this in the US.

  46. Hommy Tawn

    January 14, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    Finally….. A FUCKING site I can finally APPRECIAFUCKINATE

  47. MangoD

    January 14, 2016 at 7:23 pm

    Can I come in wearing my nightclothes. I hate getting fucking dressed before my morning cuppa

    • gordon

      February 3, 2016 at 11:59 pm

      I hate getting fucking dressed before my morning cuppa too but I sleep naked and Wales is a fucking cold place.

  48. Rod

    January 15, 2016 at 2:24 am

    I take it I can come in any time in the AFTERNOON?

  49. kj

    January 15, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    we need a bunch of those here in Southeast Florida man to get rid of a bunch of these Dunkin doughnuts and Krispy Kremes and want to be coffee houses

  50. Sabu

    January 15, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    It should also be written in Welsh!

  51. Hal Legere

    January 15, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    I believe, since this seems to be a forum on proper English, I must bring to your collective attention the following. This is not a place for Grumpy Fuckers to go for their coffee. The sign simply indicates that there are at least two people who own the shop. It indicates more than one with the “s”. The apostrophe then indicates the possessive. This is therefore simply a coffee shop owned by two or more grumpy fuckers.

    • Cunning Stunt

      January 23, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      You, sir, are a genuine, fucking, genius.
      Sin-fucking-cerely.

    • Gypsy Jon

      February 13, 2016 at 3:02 pm

      You forgot the colon after ‘following’, you dumb dicksquirt. Run and hide your fuckin’ ‘ead in shame!

  52. Mary

    January 15, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Utterly brilliant come to Hull !

  53. Cunning Stunt

    January 15, 2016 at 11:57 pm

    OK, all you ignorant, dumb, fucks that sincerely believe the outlet is real: http://grumpyfuckerscoffeeshop.com
    Fucken read it.

    • J

      January 31, 2016 at 5:12 pm

      You’re a trollig fuckin cunt. Quit being so pompous you twat. Sorry we all aren’t up on our fuckin Limey geography. Wanna know why we still don’t trust the UK…..fucking ridiculous cunts as yourself, you smelly fuckhole.

      • Cunning Stunt

        February 2, 2016 at 1:09 am

        “J” – As well as being geographically-challenged you obviously can’t follow a link, much less read. So, here it is for you; direct quote from the GF page:

        “Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop opened in Cardiff in September 2014. But don’t come looking for us. We only exist in the realms of internet folklore.”

        This has nothing to do with geography. Just a grip on reality and basic comprehension; neither of which you appear to have. Oh, and I’m not British. Why is it, then, that you (as the peak representative of the collective wisdom of everything south of the Mason-Dixon Line) don’t trust the British? Probably because you’re a rootin’, tootin’ gun-totin’ flat-earther conspiracy theorist that thinks a passport is something that provides burger, fries and gallon-sized soda upgrades. Your attempt at trolling? Pathetic at best. Grumpy Fucker? You make Dumb Fuckers look like Einstein. He’s a scientist. Probably something you don’t believe in either. I must compliment you, though. You did manage to spell “pompous” correctly. Pip, pip.

        • FutherMucker

          February 7, 2016 at 12:10 am

          CunningStunt, before I read this particular comment I simply thought you somewhat funny. This is brilliant. Truly. Brava.

          • Cunning Stunt

            February 7, 2016 at 9:23 pm

            Fertile grounds so easy to plough, Futher.

            Heavens to Murgatroyd, exit stage left, stage right, even…

  54. Marc

    January 16, 2016 at 1:59 pm

    Totally it’s my type of place. Love the name and coffee.

  55. Nancy

    January 16, 2016 at 4:43 pm

    OMG, I enjoyed this SO MUCH I read every fucking word! And laughed my ass off!

  56. The Texan

    January 21, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    They should change the name to Goofy Fuckers now for all the folks who actually believe this place actually exists….smfh.

  57. Grumpy

    January 29, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    I think every one has it all wrong,
    I’m grumpy and I want my Fucking coffee, Now!! Damn it!!!

  58. b george

    January 30, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    Need tank tops

  59. Megan

    January 31, 2016 at 6:33 pm

    Now I remember why I have several sorts of coffee makers at home. Imagine having to listen to all this shit every morning. Love the idea of the Grumpy Fuckers’ coffee shop – hope you have a MASSIVE SIGN saying NO TALKING

  60. Julie

    February 1, 2016 at 12:26 am

    We need this in the US, Chicago area please!

  61. Steve

    February 3, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    I think, after reading these posts, most of you Fuckers could use a cup of coffee!

  62. gordon

    February 3, 2016 at 10:51 pm

    Guaranteed to trigger my inner grumpy fucker is asking for a black coffee only to be interrogated about whether I want americano, filter, espresso or whatever the fuck. The gormless morons behind the counter can’t cope with anything not covered in their five minute training course and go into nervous meltdown when I insist I just want a black coffee. How hard is it to put two heaped spoons of Nescafe in a mug with boiling water for fucks sake?

    • Gwyn

      February 4, 2016 at 7:24 pm

      Try to get some idiot at McDonalds to give you black coffee with cold milk on the side. Not gonna happen. they have to put the hot milk in first and then the hot coffee. Don’t even try to get my coffee there. it is easier on my nerves to take a flask of hot water and instant coffee to my early morning meetings at the McDonalds.

  63. Nancy

    February 4, 2016 at 5:03 am

    OMG Am sorry but I can not stop laughing !!! I love it , wish I lived there to pop in for a coffee , The worst part is I wake up in the morning even before I had my coffee dancing and singing to the point at work at 7 in the morning my plant manger asked me if I was on something or high !!! True story . I just wanted to say I think this is fucken awesome !!!!!!!!!

  64. Laura drake

    February 4, 2016 at 10:46 pm

    I swear, this is the funniest stuff I’ve read in i dont know how long. The comments slay me, i can’t stop laughing

  65. Jerry mann

    February 6, 2016 at 1:26 am

    The comments are funnier than the Fake article.
    A very clever way to sell a few coffee mugs. Kudos.

  66. Danny

    February 6, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Clive, first I want to wish you nothing but the best of success and that it makes you a gozillion freaking dollars!
    Secondly, I hope you get off your dead, tired are and franchise this all over the world. Nothing would be better than to see that fancy pants, arrogant, nose in the air Starbucks get slammed and shut down.
    Hope your coffee is real coffee. I have never had coffee as good as “Cookey’s” coffee when I was with the 101st AB. I hope I get to taste your coffee and when I do, I’ll let you know how you stack up against “Cookey.”

  67. Chelsterbomb

    February 6, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Broaden your horizons, guys, and cross the ponds to the U.S. You can start here on the East Coast where I think the vast majority of grumpy fuckers reside. Myself included.

  68. Tillyflop

    February 7, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    When I saw the photo I first thought “Only in America” typical.
    Reading on, discovered it was in Cardiff, then realised it wasn’t
    true. Just goes to show you can’t beat British humour!! Got you all going didn’t it!

  69. shamrock

    February 8, 2016 at 4:38 am

    How much $ for the franchise rights to this place? Need at least two in my area.

  70. GRUMPY

    February 8, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    if your gonna make money selling clothing people are larger outside the uk, some of us in the u.s. have been fed so much bull by our POTUS that we are 3x and 4x now…

    • Gwyn

      February 10, 2016 at 11:03 am

      AND your clothes are still labeled size 1 and 2 whereas in reality they should be label 25 and 26. What do your old size 1 and 2 label there clothes as? -25 and -26. If the Merrycans would not eat that garbage McDonalds and EXTRA OUTSIZE Burgers they would be a smaller nation.

  71. BahHumbug

    February 11, 2016 at 11:53 am

    Meh, it’s just coffee.

    Colin Grimguts or whatever his fuckin’ name is won’t be grumpy when he’s kickin’ it in the Caribbean and we’re still stuck on this fuckin’ wet, windy, grey, cold and miserable island. In fact that miserable Colin fucker will delight in knowing we’re still all stuck here, wasting our money on over-priced drinks in his festering turd of a coffee shop.
    Fuck him. Not spending another penny to give that sheep shagger more holiday money.

  72. Gypsy Jon

    February 13, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    What’s so fuckin depressin’ is that most of you fuckers out there (grumpy or not) haven’t got a fuckin’ clue how to fuckin’ spell. Bollocks to whatever the coffee’s like first thing in the (f) morning, it’s more (f) important that we can communicate (f) properly. And that means bein’ able to fuckin’ spell things right when you fuckin’ write stuff. Otherwise we can’t underfuckinstand what the fuck you’re blabbin’ about. Got it? Good! Now all of you go away and fuck yourselves (twice)!! Oh, and get a (f) dictionary, for fucksake! I feel better now, but I was a fiendishly grumpy fucker a minute ago.

    • Gwyn

      February 13, 2016 at 3:55 pm

      What is this (f) that you keep putting in your rambling rant about other people’s fucking spelling. If I can’t get a cup of coffee then give me a bottle of fucking wine. At least I can go back to sleep.

  73. ron

    February 13, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    Is grumpy fucker the name of the owner or the type of people that use the place? No need to answer.
    Me I just look out of the window and go back to bed. And save money rather than paying to be depressed!

  74. Service with a Snarl

    March 28, 2016 at 10:19 am

    I like good coffee but can rarely buy it out, American money-grabbing bastard chains can’t make coffee, I would not ever use creamer, maybe a dash of milk, no sugar, I drink Miles Tea, a lot, ditto re. milk and sugar. I am not miserable but I am extremely grumpy, all of the time and have given serious thought recently to opening a mirco-brewery exclusively for grumpy men, I am wary of allowing women who have a tendency, once a few drops of alcohol have passed their lips, to become merry, which would not be acceptable. My home and shop is 50 miles from Cardiff and I really don’t want sheep-shaggers crossing the border to England abusing my border collie , Americans, if slender, may be permitted as long as they don’t speak, they may point at the item they wish to buy, pay double, and sit in a corner. I would need some financial backing to pursue this, anyone giving more than £5000 will become a life member, anyone giving less, won’t be allowed in. Shouting will not be permitted, miserable people shout, grumpy people are more sophisticated. Appropriate use of swear words will be encouraged, but I stress it must be appropriate. Further rules can be discussed. Many thanks

  75. Finewine

    June 19, 2016 at 2:20 am

    This has been enjoyable entrainment. Thanks everyone.

  76. Shen

    June 22, 2016 at 2:06 am

    Finewine, I was just thinking the same thing, so much entertainment. Although I’m worried about any or all me grammar mistakes as I write….

    I would also love to have this in our Cardiff in Newcastle NSW 🙂

  77. Jay Chat

    July 8, 2016 at 9:49 am

    Sounds better than COSTA

  78. Pingback: Tube Chat badge for Grumpy Fuckers launched - Grumpy Fuckers

  79. Pingback: Cardiff coffee shop is giving away free coffee as nation returns to shitty jobs | WalesOnCraic

  80. Mike J. Baron

    January 11, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    How inconsiderate!

    How offensive!

    To launch a business specifically intended to offend citizens you don’t even know and have nothing against is PURE SELFISHNESS!

    I hope the life expectancy of your VULGAR AWNING is less than two months.

  81. Norman Cruz

    February 11, 2017 at 4:33 am

    I’m sure the infamous Grumpy Cat would DISapprove of this place, LOL. 😛

    As for the silly butthurt people who find this offensive… GET A LIFE!!!… and drink some Grumpy Fuckers’ Coffee, and keep your whiny-ass anal-retentive comments to yourself. 😛

  82. P Elie

    February 16, 2017 at 1:12 am

    My kind of coffee shop, we need one here in Pensacola, FL. The heck with all those gourmet coffee shops.

  83. Bill

    February 17, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    You’ve left out SAD TOSSERS!

  84. Cancerman

    February 21, 2017 at 9:38 am

    What about a coffee shop for people who hate mornings AND coffee?

  85. udi

    February 23, 2017 at 7:50 pm

    I’d patronise the place and i don’t even drink coffee or tea.

  86. Karen Byrd

    March 28, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    New Port Richey, FL wants one. He needs start franchises.

  87. Theophilus Ghoststone

    March 30, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    Love it, love everything about it!

  88. Jeannine

    May 6, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    so where the fuck is this happy place???

  89. Pissed Off Pete

    May 8, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    Now that I’m retired, where the fuck were you assholes when I was working and I fucking needed you? What do you mean, you don’t serve breakfast! Get a fucking life! Quit being a fucking douche and serve up some shitty powdered eggs and stale fucking bagels. Show a little fucking initiative! gggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    • Pissed Off Pete

      May 8, 2017 at 6:41 pm

      I filled in the little red dots asshole.

  90. Lisa Weber

    May 12, 2017 at 5:11 am

    You people in Wales have strange bonding rituals. I want to visit!!!! I’m in Seattle, so it may take awhile. I hate to fly 🙂

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