Woodpeckers just ‘fucking hate trees’

woodpecker

Nature boffins have discovered that woodpeckers only peck trees because they hate them.

One woodpecker told Grumpy Fuckers that he hated trees so much that he just ‘wanted to hammer the shit out of them.’

He said:

“I’m just an angry bird as it were. I fucking hate trees. They just stand around looking all pompous all the fucking time. Like as if they own the place. The only way I can make myself feel better is to stick my fat arse on the side of them and hammer the shit out of them.

Scientists say that woodpeckers are often born angry.

“In our experience, these woodpeckers are just jumped up little mother fuckers. The poor trees are the ones to take the brunt of their anger.”

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