The World Health Organisation has today announced that 4pm is the universal Wine O’Clock.
The organisation said that 4pm is now the most popular time to start getting shit-faced.
Lionel DeBlair, spokesman for the WHO, told Grumpy Fuckers:
“We’ve been collecting data from all over the world and after we’ve crunched all the figures, we’ve come to the conclusion that 4pm is the new Wine O’Clock. This marks a distinct shift from the usual 8pm, and reflects the nature of lockdown all over the world. I myself, usually start getting shit-faced just before 4pm. I have one cold beer, just to get me going, followed by two bottles of Gavi and if that still hasn’t done the job, I go to my emergency cupboard and open whatever’s there – that could include things like peach vodka or sherry from last Christmas. The WHO now recognises 4pm as the new Wine O’Clock and we will be confirming this in a letter to anyone who wants to read it. I’m off to get shit-faced now. Bye.”
World leaders will be forced to accept the new rulings, which comes as the world struggles with lockdowns in towns and cities across the world.