PROVEN: Owls are just fat, grumpy pigeons

A leading bird scientist has proven that owls are just fat, grumpy pigeons.

Prof. Timmy Cleverclogs made the announcement to a packed conference last night.

He told delegates:

“We’ve all see them – these grumpy overweight birds with attitude. They stay up all night, giving mouses a hard time and all that shit. We took a sample of owls into our lab and tortured them until they confessed what we suspected all along – that they’re just overweight pigeons. We now have to declassify these birds as owls and rename them as just ‘fat pigeons’. It’s no wonder people go out shooting them.”

One owl said:

“The man doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If he’s not careful, I’ll be round his house tonight with the boys to sort him out.”