Dickhead neighbour mows lawn at 7.30am on a Saturday

A dickhead neighbour has mown his lawn at 7.30am on a Saturday.

Residents hoping for a nice lie-in were woken by Alan Dupper and his Qualcast 125cc push petrol rotary lawnmower.

Alan told Grumpy Fuckers:

“My lawn needed doing so I got up early so that I could then spend the rest of the day relaxing. It’s quite a large lawn so it took me about half an hour. Some of my neighbours started hanging out of their bedroom windows and calling me all the names under the sun but I had that same sort of treatment a few weeks ago when I started drilling a wall down in my living room at 6am. They’re not very nice around here – I thought I had moved to a nice neighbourhood but they’re all pretty selfish.”

Neighbour Emma Dale said:

“I didn’t get in till 5.30am this morning because I stopped over at my mate’s house for a drunken shag. I was then woken by Mr Dickhead and now I can’t get back to sleep.”