Company advertises vacancy for Office Arsehole

A local company has officially advertised a paid position of Office Arsehole.

The company has been inundated with applications from arseholes all over the country.

Jimmy FudgeFingers who placed the advert said:

“Every office has an arsehole, some more than others. We thought we’d embrace this wonderful diversity that Office Arseholes bring to the world of commerce. Duties include bringing food into the office each lunchtime, filling the fridge with loads of their own food and taking credit for someone else’s work. We also fully expect them to hit ‘Reply To All’ when they receive a company email and also to leave dirty cups and dishes around the place for other people to pick up. Being an Office Arsehole is a very important job and we are delighted to see the response we’ve had from our advert. Sadly, we lost our Office Arsehole last week when he ran off with all our takings.”

Applicant Andy Arsehole said:

“I like to bring fish or curry into work and cook it on site. I also like to steal other people’s milk from the fridge. I’m very clever and take from a different bottle each times so that I never get noticed. I’m a professional arsehole.”

Applications for the post close on Monday.