Dear Ethel: Why does my wife make shit coffee?

Dear Ethel

Why does my wife make shit coffee?

Sheila, London

Dear Sheila,

Not everyone can make a nice cup of coffee and I would suggest that your wife either bucks up her ideas pretty pronto or leaves the family home. Life is too short to make shit coffee and this so-called wife of yours needs to think twice before she steps in a kitchen again. Be gentle at first. Suggest ways that she can improve her coffee-making abilities. If she doesn’t respond to this, you may need to think about divorce or having an affair. I have had several of my friends divorce their partners because they were making shit coffee.

Ethel x

Ethel Leathercrotch is a world-renowned Agony Aunt who likes cats, standing in supermarket doorways and smelling of chicken soup