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Dear Ethel: I need your help!

Dear Ethel

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual.

I hadn’t driven more than 5 miles down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help.

When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter.

I’m 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour’s daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.

I told him to stop or I’d leave him. He was made redundant from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant.

He won’t go to counselling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him any more.

Can you please help?

Sandra, St Asaph

Dear Sandra,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it’s clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps.

Ethel x

Ethel Leathercrotch is a world-renowned Agony Aunt who likes cats, standing in supermarket doorways and smelling of chicken soup

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Dear Ethel: Why does my wife make shit coffee?

Dear Ethel

Why does my wife make shit coffee?

Sheila, London

Dear Sheila,

Not everyone can make a nice cup of coffee and I would suggest that your wife either bucks up her ideas pretty pronto or leaves the family home. Life is too short to make shit coffee and this so-called wife of yours needs to think twice before she steps in a kitchen again. Be gentle at first. Suggest ways that she can improve her coffee-making abilities. If she doesn’t respond to this, you may need to think about divorce or having an affair. I have had several of my friends divorce their partners because they were making shit coffee.

Ethel x

Ethel Leathercrotch is a world-renowned Agony Aunt who likes cats, standing in supermarket doorways and smelling of chicken soup

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Dear Ethel: Why is my husband such an arsehole?

Dear Ethel

Why is my husband such an arsehole?

Gaynor, Cardiff

Dear Gaynor,

It’s likely that because your husband is a man, there is a strong possibility that he will be an arsehole. Being an arsehole is such a common trait among men that the two go hand in hand quite well. It could be that he leaves the toilet seat up when you go in for a shit. It could be that he goes out and gets drunk when you need him to give you a hand around the house. Or it could be that he’s gambled away your house and pension down at the local casino. In your case, I’d need a bit more information so that I can answer your question better. Send me another email or better still, give me a call. I get easily with my own arsehole husband so it’d be good to chat.

Ethel x

Ethel Leathercrotch is a world-renowned Agony Aunt who likes cats, standing in supermarket doorways and smelling of chicken soup

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