82% people experience the Mid-Life ‘Fuck It’

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82% of the world’s population have or will experience, the Mid-Life Fuck It.

The ‘Mid-Life Fuck It’ has been described as realising that one is too old to give a fuck about anyone or anything.

One Mid-Life Fucker told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and went to comb my hair but realised that I didn’t have any left. It was then that I realised that it’d happened – I’d become middle-aged. I took the mirror off the wall and went out to the nearest motorcycle shop. I part-exchanged my house for a new bike, took all my clothes off and drove down the highway until I run out of gas. Then I went into the nearest bar and drunk so much that I pissed myself. I was hoping to get laid that night but the ladies in the bar weren’t too keen so I went home and watched some porn. I masturbated until my penis came off in my hand.”

Professor BigBollocks of a local university said that this kind of experience is all too common among middle-aged fuckers.

“It’s happening all over the world. We spoke to one woman who sold her kids for a new pair of tits. She felt like she was 19 again until 9pm came around and she had to go home to have a lie down,” said the Professor.

“If my calculations are correct, I’d say that 3 million people are experiencing that ‘moment’ right now.

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3 thoughts on “82% people experience the Mid-Life ‘Fuck It’

  1. Ian says:

    I recon Prof BigBollocks is underestimating the numbers, but, he was right about the women, a new pair of tits and they think their the dogs bollocks, except their not, just mutton dressed as lamb.

  2. Grumpy In Illinois says:

    I reached the middle-aged fuck it at adolescence. Then again it may have been that I realized I had become a misanthrope and no longer gave a flying fuck what anyone thought…fuck it.

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