Police given new powers to taser people who use inappropriate apostrophe’s

Police are to be given new powers to taser people who use apostrophes incorrectly.

The Government says that it’s had enough of that shit and wants to clamp down immediately.

A spokesman for the Government said:

“We’ve had enough of this shit. Everywhere we go, we see apostrophes being used in the wrong context. It takes just a few minutes to learn the rules but people can’t be arsed. It’s a national disgrace. We have therefore passed new laws to allow our police services to taser the fuck out of anyone who uses an apostrophe incorrectly. If they still refuse to use them correctly, then we have instructed our policemen and women to beat them with a large stick. We’d like to think that this will send a very clear message to the cockwombles who still use their apostrophes incorrectly.”

One nervous shopkeeper said:

“I never know what to write on the blackboard in my greengrocers. Do I write carrots, carrot’s or carrots’? I’m so confused.”

He was later tasered.

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10 thoughts on “Police given new powers to taser people who use inappropriate apostrophe’s

  1. Grumpy In Illinois says:

    Taser them right behind the morons who use the all too often misused expression, “I could care less.” Learn bloody English you twatwaffles!

  2. Grumpy Alan says:

    How can I get some TASER’s so that I can help?
    Damn hippie autocorrect. I’m going to TASER that fucker first.

  3. Mardy Mark says:

    What about the twats who don’t know how many ‘o’s to use when describing themselves? It’s ‘loser’, you losers, not ‘looser’!
    Tasering’s too good for them!

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