News
People who whistle non-tunes can now legally be punched in the throat
May
People who whistle shit that doesn’t even resemble a song can now legally be punched in the throat.
It means that people who appear happy in their jobs can be reminded that other people don’t want to listen to their shit.
Police spokesman Danny LoveTruncheon told Grumpy Fuckers:
“We’ve all heard it – some dickhead happy at their job, whistling something that doesn’t even resemble a song. People that need to be punched hard in the throat so we’ve pushed through some legislation that means that anyone can now legally shut the happy fuckers up. I was in a restaurant yesterday and there was this prick who was happily cleaning the dishes out the back. He was so happy in his job that he was whistling any old shit. I slammed down my steak, stormed into the kitchen and punched the fucker in the throat. He stopped whistling after that. I am glad to see our law-makers seeing sense and passing this as law.”
One postman who didn’t want to be identified said:
“It now means that I’ll have to do my rounds in complete silence. This world has gone mad.”
Does the same law apply to people who sing like Hilda Ogden?!
Fuck, yes.
As long as you don’t sing like Rosanne Barr at a sporting event. By the way, I’ve heard that those over seventy years of age can apply for a permit, slick as a whistle.
Does the punch have to be limited to the throat? Can the bollocks be included? Just to get the point across?
Is it a law in what state?what kind of fhroat punch?
Does a swift kick in the groin count?