Man in hospital after attempting to cross lake on a rowing machine

A man is in hospital after he tried rowing his rowing machine across a lake.

Gordon Fuckwit took his BodyMax R50 rowing machine out onto the water last night. He managed to get just 35 meters before the machine sank. Fuckwit was taken to hospital suffering mild drowning.

He told GrumpyFuckers:

“My wife keeps telling me how fat I am so I bought this thing to get me trim. I took delivery of my BodyMax R50 and promptly took it down to the lake near my house. I started rowing across the water but before I knew it, I was at the bottom of the lake. The next thing I remember is waking up in hospital and my wife telling me that I was both fat and stupid. I’m hoping to recover my BodyMax R50 from the lake so that I can continue my fitness regime.”

Wife Debbie said:

“Fuckwit by name, fuckwit by nature. I’ve seriously had enough of that dickhead. I want a new husband with lots of money, a huge penis and preferably, some kind of common sense.”