Clown sighting dismissed as ‘chubby girl with too much makeup on’

A reported sighting of a clown has been dismissed by police as a girl in heavy makeup.

The ‘clown’ was spotted heading out of a local pie shop and heading into the local cake shop while eating a kebab.

An eyewitness said:

“I shat myself. This thing was coming towards me eating a kebab and I just froze. There have been lots of sightings of clowns lately but I never thought I’d see one around here. They’re the kind of things you expect to find in a circus or on the telly. I never knew they existed in real life.”

A police spokeswoman said:

“We received a call at 7.30 this evening with a report of a clown in the High Street. We immediately dispatched our top cops to go take a look but sadly, it just turned out to be a chubby girl wearing too much makeup. Our cops told everyone to leave the scene and then they went for a burger. Sgt. Grumble had the cheeseburger while Officer Dibble plumped for the double cheeseburger because he was hungry.”

The girl eventually left on a train to fuck knows where.