Porn film banned for ‘falsely portraying plumber turning up when he said he would’

Legendary porn film ‘Debbie Does Phallus’ has been banned for portraying plumbers as people who turn up on time.

The film, which features Dennis ‘ThunderRod’ Muggins as The Plumber, was made in 2010 by the now defunct Welsh porn company, Tits and Sheep. But the US and UK governments have jointly taken the unprecedented step of banning the film, as it features a scene where the plumber turns up at a woman’s house when he said he would.

Government spokeswoman Glenda Pencilskirt told Grumpyfuckers:

“In this day and age, when young people are so susceptible to things they see on telly, we thought it right and proper to remove this film from the public domain. We can’t let our children see this kind of thing, letting them grow up thinking that a plumber will turn up when he says he will. The days I’ve sat in waiting for the asshole to turn up. It’s just not on. We need to think of the children.”

But critics have pointed out that the film will now go underground. Porn fan Dave StrongArm said:

“It’ll go underground now without a doubt. Gang wars will pop up as they try to ship illicit copies of the film and the government will see that it’s a short-sighted solution. I personally like the bit where Debbie gets spit-roasted. It reminds me of a Scout fete I went to once.”