Woman accidentally leans on phone, inputs 16 digit card number and buys new shoes

A woman has accidentally bought herself a new pair of shoes after leaning on her phone.

Thelma BendyLegs sat on her phone while watching Friends on telly – and happened to accidentally input all of her 16 credit card numbers, her expiry date and her security number – all in the correct order.

She told Grumpy Fuckers:

“It’s the third time this has happened to me in a week. I feel awfully embarrassed. All I did was sit down to watch Friends and before I knew it, my fat arse had managed to unlock my phone, enter all my card details and order a pair of shoes I’ve been dying to have. They were very expensive and it means I won’t be able to feed the kids for a week but I’m going to look a stunner when I goes down the club tonight.”

Husband Ken said:

“This keeps happening to her all the time. Last month, she sat down to watch Benny Hill, sat on her phone and bought a new Ford Focus. She really needs to put some sort of lock on her phone or at least take it out of her back pocket when she sits down.”

Thelma added:

“That poor delivery man. He’s around her every day or so which is no bad thing as I like perving at his legs in his little Post Office shorts. Sigh.”