Police given new powers to taser next person to ask ‘All ready for Christmas?’

Local police have been given emergency new powers to taser anyone who asks ‘All ready for Christmas?’

Thousands of people are expected to fall foul of the new law, which takes place with immediate effect.

PC Plod of the Police Force Federation told Grumpy Fuckers:

“We’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of people asking this question so we referred the matter to the Government. They boys and girls down there were pretty good at passing this act, which means that we can taser people on the spot should we hear them asking this bloody question. We had a woman last night who came into the station to report a break-in and while she was waiting to see someone, she asked one of our officers whether they were ready for Christmas. She was tasered, beaten about the head with a bottle of Fanta and placed in handcuffs. We have also sent out special undercover officers to infiltrate places of work.”

The new law also applies to people asking ‘What are you doing for Christmas?’