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- 2020 to be turned into a disaster movie
- Get ready for Grumpy Fuckers Day – Monday 25th May
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- Dickhead neighbour mows lawn at 7.30am on a Saturday
- Woman spends three hours doing hair to buy bread
- Vibrators ask for some time out
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- Self-isolating couple file for divorce
- ‘If you lost weight, you’d be a stunner’ declared NOT a compliment
- Man imprisoned for playing Christmas music in his car in November
- Man avoids emotional breakdowns by not having any emotions
- Police given new powers to taser next person to ask ‘All ready for Christmas?’
- Happiness an ‘over-rated’ emotion
- Inspirational memes cure 97% cases of depression
- World Peace Day ruined by asshole with a lawnmower