A leading scientist has proven the theory that open plan offices turn normal people into Grumpy Fuckers.
Professor CleverCloggs of No Hope University published his findings at a press conference yesterday. He told reporters:
“We’ve all known it for years but open plan offices are a total shower of shit. Managers simply insist on them so that they can keep an eye on members of staff. We studied 190 open plan offices across the country and we found time and time again that people begin their working life as normal human beings and within six weeks, are the grumpiest fuckers on earth. We’d like to see an abolition of open plan offices to make the world a better place all round.”
Joe FatHead, an office worker who took part in the study, told Grumpy Fuckers:
“When I started my job three years ago, I was the nicest person you could ever meet. Now I’m just a grumpy old fucker and I put that down to the fact that I work in an open plan office. I can’t phone my girl, I can’t scratch my arse – I can’t even sleep on the job. I hate it.”