The World Health Association has officially classed coffee withdrawal symptoms as a medical condition.
Depresso is experienced when an individual is exposed to lack of coffee. Sufferers experience anything from headaches to committing homicide.
A very important spokesperson said:
“This condition has been around for a long, long time but it’s only now that we’ve gotten off our arses and officially classified it. We called it Depresso because we thought that sounded clever. Individuals who are exposed to lack of coffee can suffer incredibly. We often see sufferers lash out at other individuals or inanimate objects. The only way that it can be controlled is to reintroduce coffee into the bloodstream. We are working closely with hospitals so that those who have acute symptoms can be put on a drip and receive their coffee intravenously. Depresso cannot be passed from person to person but we have seen a very large increase in reported cases since we officially classified it.”
One sufferer said:
“I went one day without coffee and I ended up punching a local priest in the face. That’s the kind of thing you do when suffering from Depresso.